Poetic Loss of Justice
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Poetic Loss of Justice| Fullmetal Joe |
Posted: 2006-03-07, 03:43 AM
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a depressed soul 
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 241 Joined: 4 January 2006   |
hey more poetry..i like them  ..very good post more when you can -------------------
 i want to thank PrinJess for this awesome pic 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature. |
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-07, 11:05 AM
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 [ I Am ] 
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
Awe, thank you kindly.  I'll be putting up a lot more of my older poetry today and for a while. I've so many and yah... -Laughs- You'll get to read a lot more! Thank you again! -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-07, 06:13 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
Willing ~ 04.10.11 My master has set me free Stripped me of all bondage And left me for another appeasement There are left no more nights No longer do I need to stay awake On sleepless nights no matter what hour To empty my soul of all Unless it have something to do with her happiness I need never tell her stories again Never speak the names she “loved” Never be called for at any given time I am freed Yet here I lay So alone and empty of all feeling Upon my own bed Not even thinking And my nights are truly sleepless Come back Master Bring back my chains And bind me tightly in them once more Without them I am a corpse More so than I was before Yes Freedom and life is mine to be had But it is empty Like I am And I cannot help but long for my shackles My Master has left me Left me to “live my own life” To “love and be happy” But I am simply empty Come home to me my Master Let me once more fill your mind with stories And let us forget you had ever left The night passes slowly. -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-07, 06:18 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
Seeking the Questions ~ 04.10.11 Ask me a question Any question at all I don’t care what it’s about I’ll answer anyway There’s nothing as beautiful as the ‘dreams’ I’ve had With clear eyes catching the drops of blood as they fall from the sky For nothing really cries Just an illusion we want to see for sympathy Of course there’s nothing like a mind With my soul flitting through its halls But never finding the right or wrong door Just wandering around aimlessly Searching for what is right before its eyes or in its dreams A thought that causes so much comfort Enough to give it a false sense of its own accomplishments Just a little thorn My life in its center So warm and yet wishing it had a blanket or someone’s arms to wrap around itself We are all amused by the person who longs for such things We see them as people who have less knowledge than ourselves It has never occurred to them that they are misled Inside ourselves it is a dream Or possibly an image of the cold we strive to get away from So far ahead it all seems to me I want to catch up with the others But it would be folly to follow such a trail It in itself would cause a disruption The little house glows with rage A fear I have held of it in my mind’s dreams Handwritten stories and thoughts of my own A nail hit too hard in the eagerness of the one who struck it has been broken For a pool of water Ripples that were never there flowing along the unbreaking surface Just like the white walls of the black room All a piece of the darkness seen inside the light’s thin and fragile form Not that light is a thing to dislike Merely a thought of the beauty it holds that nothing else may copy A strained muscle in her thoughts feels real and physical because her body cannot tell the difference But who knows why the kite doesn’t fall or fly Simply it is a scratch in its complete self A pair of sails Like the question you never asked A thought that has kindled the thought of sadness Of course my dear has failed to see its white dream Simply a matter of whether or not you will ask If you would wish to change the thought A dream of yourself in itself has been brought to you Will you not ask it of her or him or yourself This is not a pearl but a gleam of the sun reflecting off of your hopes Embrace them and the sky would be known as fallen Little droplets falling into my sky of brown A line thrown out to the bird of the branches of trees A little dream in itself To whom may my scars drift on without their glory that they’d never had And I only go on because of you All I want is for you to ask a question of me. -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-07, 06:34 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
Spinnning ~ 04.11.8 It's not something you see everyday. But it is something I've experienced before. That feeling of wanting to smile and just close your eyes, not caring what the world thinks of you and your opinions. That feeling of wanting to jump up and hug someone. Even if they'd never understand why. That feeling of being surrounded by the world and just laughing. Expressing to all what's inside. It's been an image in my head for ages it seems. The one of myself, pictured as "the old, but perfect" age of sixteen. And I can see myself again. Spinning, spinning, spinning. My arms spread to the sides, embracing the world and all infinty in its great and vastness. Smiling to the sky, my eyes closed. And spinning, spinning, spinning. Free of all bonds and boundaries. Free of all thoughts and dreams. Free of everything. Everything but the freedom which has been brought down upon me. It's not a dance. It's not a dream. It's my way of expressing gratitude, love, and joy, to the world I've been born into. It seems strange that such a small amount of people will ever be so open. It seems sad that they'll never be as free. I can't wait till one day, who knows when, I can spin forever. And never have to stop spinning. It's not strange, nor unusual. When my day comes. Those who would see it, will see me spinning to the High songs. I am willing. Singing for eternity, laughing and smiling forever, and always I'll be spinning. -------------------
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| CicatrizESP01 |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 08:27 AM
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New Otaku 
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 12 Joined: 1 March 2006 |
QUOTE (Itu @ Feb 8 2006, 04:30 PM) Entrance And to think we've all been left behind, flowering fruitless in the central markings of your Mother, flourishing endlessly in another level and others, of course. Nameless and mindless, do not underestimate our language, allowing images come sweep low before feet duly bathed. Hold! the sea away! Stay! my other contemporaries! Without the bonds latched high onto green, without a sample of a more foreign spite, can severe gold bring you that clearer sunlight? Store all Forget-Me-Nots away; Your birth has yet to water down the over all entrancement. Each verse works very well independantly and each elicits a particular reaction. "Nameless and mindless, do not underestimate our language" is my favorite line in the whole poem because it juxtaposes two qualities one would not associate with reverence or respect. That, in my opinion, is the key to marvelous writing: the ability to ingeniously relate two dissimilar ideas and make the reader mull over the relation. Or something like that  That said, I don't think that the verses as a whole connect enduringly well. I can vaguely conjure a correlation or a story to it all, but it's a bit of a stretch. For instance, after the my favorite line, you write "images come sweep low before feet duly bathed." The jump from the two metaphors seems too jarring. maybe it's just my writing style bleeding through, but I tend to think that metaphors should blend more logically. It's one thing to speak a clear, succinct idea and evoke complex thought; it's another entirely to speak complexly and evoke confusion. That's one of my struggles as a writer. But overall, I liked all the imagery. Good job! You'll be seeing more reviews of your work from me soon Scott |
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 08:48 AM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
@CicatrizESP01: I can understand your points completely, and appreciate the review. -Chuckles- That was the subliminal message I'd tried to send through this piece. An addiction so strong it frizzles away at any logical associations between anything. The messages are all there, they are unclear, they are improperly pieced together. Because when you've fallen so deeply into something... do you honestly care about anything but satisfying yourself with the feelings or knowledge that characterize that entrancement? I'm not sure if I've made my point clear... but well... to put it simply, it was written to make you unsteady and confuse you. -Shrugs- Apparently... it worked. Once again, thank you. -------------------
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| Fullmetal Joe |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 08:59 AM
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a depressed soul
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 241 Joined: 4 January 2006 |
Hey more poems! rock on well i like them alot..great job write more..I'm not really good at poetry, but i see good poetry when i see it......yah. -------------------
i want to thank PrinJess for this awesome pic 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature. |
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 09:01 AM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
@FMJ: -Laughs- Thanks! I'm glad you like 'em. -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 10:23 AM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
I Can Smile, I Will Smile ~ 04.11.12 It's been noticed by more than myself your fault oh, crucial mistake You may converse with us our constant deficiencies telling me, and others to turn Look away from those around you speak not of our deaths we hear and obey, as calm, as we wish You need not yell you need not be silent oh, what do we percieve you are nothing but one other Do not speak, do not glare do not be silent, do not think of it it is passed simply acknowledge, my dear You are but one other and so you are expected to act but know, I am but one other I can smile, I will smile You need not yell. -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 10:25 AM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
.::Faylyurr::. .::Failure::. ~ 04.11.12 You've been riveted caught up in the strings struggling has been proved as only more painful give up it won't help .::Yes it will!::. Give up .::No! I can get out!::. Give up .::NOOO!::. ... I've been here for eons ... You've gone in moments. -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 10:40 AM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
Capital Henbane ~ 04.7.23 Listen to me crawl: fireISH..? Ripping away all signs of sanity, An infinite little dream.. Watching the paper fall away, Through little tears adorned.. From a wall of fragility.. I want to seek you out, To make the cloth close again, While you flicker on about.. A thought I am losing, When glowing on a flowered route.. Cares much my carpet for us, And the little creasing crown.. A small detachable speck, From air I cannot seem to pull out, Without adoring you as thus.. Why can you not stop laughing? Who is it that may speak? A marking like a scratch on your tomb, Were you wanting again? A leaf falls on the wall of my ceiling.. I'm just sleeping... She hurt the strings, My clarity. -------------------
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| CicatrizESP01 |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 12:47 PM
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New Otaku
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 12 Joined: 1 March 2006 |
Yeah, I know what you mean - if you don't write for yourself and your own satisfaction, who are you writing for? An audience? Critics? That's when your art begins to suffer - when it is no longer under your control. I guess it's just that I'm a more narrative writer, so those are the qualities I look for in most poetry. But whatever floats your boat and satisfies that thirst to create |
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| Warboss Jimmy |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 12:50 PM
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 zog 
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 2,375 Joined: 19 November 2005 |
Yes, what Cicatriz said. He is very wise in the way of poet-fu. -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 12:52 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
@CicatrizESP01: -Nods and smiles- Exactly. So many artists that have been out there are proof of that. And thanks. You write narratives then, eh? Will you be posting some on KAF so we can read 'em?@jimmyjoesr: Heh.. You're awesome too buddeh, and don't ever think otherwise! This post has been edited by Itu on 2006-03-08, 01:01 PM -------------------
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 01:42 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
Bug Sigh calm for me, furrowed dreams, off-set screens, fainter, it seems. We're folded up in a hollow thing, a wirey screen, so it seems. Bless our sorrows, and our inner fiend. -------------------
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| CicatrizESP01 |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 02:14 PM
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New Otaku
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 12 Joined: 1 March 2006 |
Actually, I haven't written a good narrative in a long while. What I mean is that most of my poetry follows more of an A-to-B-to-C progression, instead of the less story-oriented and amorphous brand of poetry. But I have been meaning to write up a few stories...just haven't gotten around to them. My attention span is nil  |
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 02:46 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
-Nods- Oh yah, I noticed your poetry style right off the bat. Mine was always freeform it seems... I long ago gave up on writing it any other way. Occasionally I may write an ode or whatnot, but I'm most comfortable with letting it flow as it does. -Laughs- I know what you mean! Attention span is fine for a while... I can go anywhere from half an hour to seven when it comes to writing. But if you stop me once then it takes bloody long to get me back on track. -Chuckles- Which is why my fics are not posted on KAF yet! << None of them are completed. -Sighs- -------------------
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| Fullmetal Joe |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 06:42 PM
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a depressed soul
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 241 Joined: 4 January 2006 |
nice job with rhyming and stuff on these poems..keep up the good work.  -------------------
i want to thank PrinJess for this awesome pic 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature. |
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| Itu |
Posted: 2006-03-08, 06:45 PM
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[ I Am ]
Group: Local Resident
Posts: 3,529 Joined: 26 January 2006 |
QUOTE (Fullmetal Joe @ Mar 8 2006, 09:42 PM) nice job with rhyming and stuff on these poems..keep up the good work. Ah, thankies, but these are older ones. -------------------
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